Serena Fucking Kerrigan: What Happens When You Are The Beauty and The Beast
By Betti Halsell
Even her name is pulling you to look, to listen, and to take notice. That’s confidence; a very slight change to your identity to reflect the best side of you. SFK realized that within herself, there is a beast that is beautiful, intelligent, and Fucking amazing. Kerrigan has now devoted her life energy to pulling out the confidence creature that lives in all of us. I took two courses and the mental shift was huge. She confirmed what I already knew; I am a beauty, but I am also a beast. After each session I was ready to attack my dreams with a relentless spirit, YOU WILL look, listen, and take notice of my name.
I was presented with the idea to take “Confidence Courses,” and at first glance my initial thought was, “Confidence courses?! Me?! Ha! I’m good.”
I went through my journey of building my confidence, and at the time I had a solid idea of who I was: a smart, beautiful Black Woman! “I don't need a course in confidence, psshhh!” But I sat silently processing what is being asked of me to consider, so I looked up this Serena-Fucking-Kerrigan, “Who is she anyway…” I thought. I stalked the gram, looked at websites, reviews, and did a full investigation. The results determined a reflection I was used to, a beautiful woman who was aware she was beautiful. So what's the big deal?
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I took a closer look at SFK, I looked at what she was doing. Here's a fact about Kerrigan that puts her on another level; she's getting paid to be herself. When that comet crashed into the frontal cortex of my brain, I had some questions that needed answers from the Queen of Confidence herself. I was ready to accept what she had to offer.
My internal question was, “How confident do you have to be, to not only go for your dreams, but also help people along the way-- and get paid for it.” At that point I had to look at the crown on my head, and recognize Kerrigan had a few more jewels of wisdom on her crown that she's willing to share with me. I will forever bask in that shine from the gems that were dropped in our conversations.
I prepared to meet SFK, I mean part of confidence is looking good right? So I came face beat and hair slicked, ready. I started our Zoom call stating the obvious, “ Think of me as an intermediate student..” There's no way I would be able to downplay my confidence, I am a strong woman and I wanted that to be established from the beginning. I also like to live in full transparency, I shared some of my vulnerabilities. I confessed my inconsistency with chasing my dreams and I asked her, “How do you keep going when you don't see any results?”
I am a model and I’m transitioning to becoming a world renown inspiration for beauty, but that's no easy circle to break into. She looked at me and said, “ You keep going.” Kerrigan went on to explain the different ways to penetrate that world, but her message was clear and I felt her energy, “You don't stop, put claim to what is for you.” One thing I noticed about SFK, she speaks with a tone like doubt was never an option, if you want it, you take it. End of Story.
That’s what her courses look to do--eliminate the fear by addressing it head on. There shouldn't be any space for inconsistency. The first conversation aligned me with the passion to do what the universe has always demanded from me, “Claim it. Do it.”
I felt elevated. She made sense of so much, with simple words. Yes of course I heard “keep going” before. That’s not why you call SFK, you dial her in to feel how she delivers that message. Her voice booms with the bass needed to make an impact. Kerrigan calls you out and makes you face yourself, she makes you growl at life.
(SFK building up confidence with a client who was unfortunately a victim of body shaming):
SFK gave me homework to go public with the statement, “I am a model.” which shocked me. I never really said it out loud, I never had a reason to. What that exercise taught me is, it’s one thing to want it, it's a completely different energy to claim it. My cage was rattled, and the beast was awakened.
The second conversation, I entered with a heavy heart. It was days after the death of two Black men due to police brutality, adding to a list of social injustices that have been happening throughout this nation. As a Black Woman, I see Kings being slain. I didn't have the same energy I had at first. I started the conversation letting her know of my current state.
Kerrigan adapted quickly and met me where I was, she spoke her truth as a non-Black ally. Knowing her perspective would be skewed, SFK never took away from the pain I was feeling. As Kerrigan empathized with my sadness, I asked her my second question, “How do you keep going, when the world is falling apart.”
We traveled through the process of mourning and how to use that fuel, Jacob Blake. Anthony McClain. You became the fire I needed to make it, I do it for you both now. I do it for my kings. For my culture. For the peace of mind. The beast has now been unleashed.
I would say to all the intermediate students, reconsider what confidence means. Understand there is beauty and a passionate beast in each of us, and sometimes you need to recognize it in someone else who’s also fucking amazing. Thank you, Serena, you created a monster.
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