The Cat and Mouse Game Is Over: Married At First Sight Episode 15 Recap

Remember when you had a mutual crush on the playground, but instead of smiling at them you ran away in hopes that they’d chase you? The wives of “Married at First Sight” are still running, but the chase may be over. On the last episode before decision day, one of the wives is still keeping distance with her inexplicable insecurities, another one keeps steps ahead by saying nothing much at all (you already know who) and another one shifts her direction for a whole new course (you’ll never guess who). The husbands are left to contemplate if they can find a second wind or will be throwing in the towel.

Last week, Mia packed up and left following an argument, declaring that she wants a divorce. This week she returns, wearing a runaway’s uniform of sweats and no makeup, because this is serious. Tristan tells her that if decision day were closer, he’d have to choose divorce as it seems she already has. When it was Mia’s turn to explain, she said she only asked for a divorce because she assumed Tristan wanted one. I guess that is also why she disappeared and turned off her phone so Tristan can stay up searching for her(read: placing a dry-eyed call to his mom). Mia said in the confessional that she’s “broken” knowing Tristan may want a divorce. It was at that point on the episode that I recalled Tristan accusing her of always playing the victim.

Still, they resolve to working things out. After all, why spend seven weeks together and be absent from the finale? Surprisingly, the misery of last episode led the couple into a state of calm, knowing that the worst has already happened. They end up spending the remainder of the day cracking jokes and casually speaking of the future. Since Mia is the only person on the planet to laugh when Tristan said “crack juice” and Tristan is the only husband not to cringe when Mia said she “sharted” (that’s a combination of “shit” and farted” to the sophisticated), they may actually reach the finish line together.

For Barbie and Ken, there’s trouble at the dream house. Ken, better known as Dave, is exhausted from dealing with Amber’s insecurities. They are enjoying a drink when Amber once again asks Dave how he feels about her. After Dave says that he has feelings for her, Amber says to the camera, “All I wanted was to hear that Dave has feelings for me,” — you know what’s coming — “but now I think maybe he’s not ready for marriage.”  Dave tells the camera that he shouldn’t have to constantly reassure Amber, so instead of stroking her ego he decides to turn their “mini-moon” into a cryptic lesson. To each other however, they only bickered quietly like, um, an old married couple.

By the evening, Dave was still cold toward his wife, who tried to fix the issue by speaking from her heart: “[Dave] you're being such a dick.” Dave simply agrees and they break out laughing. I’m not ready to admit that I was wrong about Amber and Dave’s solid connection, so instead I offer this conspiracy: Amber and Dave just needed to make more drama to get more screen time. Otherwise I’d have to write that Amber is cripplingly insecure and Dave may spend the rest of his life being the dad or the relationship.

During their mini-moon in Oklahoma, Bobbyrecites his vows of undying love for Danielle, stating this he loves her more than his parents (yes, I feel badly for his parents too). In reply, Danielle gives Bobby all the emotion in her heart: a warm smile, and a “...good to know….” For a while it seemed that Danielle simply wasn’t feeling Bobby, but she may just be the most realistic person to ever be on a reality show. They’ve only known of each other’s existence for seven weeks, so maybe Danielle isn’t stoic; maybe she doesn’t have the intense stalker gene that Mia and Bobby seem to share. She’s more like Dave, as she wants the love between her and her spouse to grow organically, which can take time. Here’s hoping that all the time she needs is one week.

Next week is the day. The day the couples decide if they want to stay married and make a life together, or end up on a second-tier reality show for failing relationships. What used to seem like a safe bet has now turned on its head, with Mia and Tristan competing for the title of most oddly compatible couple, dominating their issues in dramatic yet effective fashion. Still, the old habits of the other couples may die hard, leading their imperfect yet predictable marriages to stay intact. Place your bets and return here next week for the results.