Real Talk: What To Get Your Least Favorite Person For Your Work Secret Santa
Tis the season to be passive aggressive with coworkers. If we can be real for two seconds, no one at the office wants to have a secret santa. The person you like at work, will most likely already be getting a gift that was planned within your budget. So this is a gimmick brought up by the cat lady-assistant manager. This is forced Holiday humbug, and it’s already hard enough shopping for family members one is not particularly fond of, now there is this added stress of shopping for a person that chews too loud in the break room?! Before pulling out any hair follicles and wrapping those in the irony of gifting your sanity, here is a very strategic list to help you navigate through the holidays.
For the person who gives you the cold shoulder
When this person walks into the office the stark family comes out of nowhere to warn you that winter is here. Warm this person up with an electric blanket that can be used in their car.
For the energy suckers
Before entering the front door, you close your eye, take a deep breath, and mentally prepare for what’s on the other side of that door. That person who wears you out before your shift even starts is waiting for you. Surprise that energizer bunny with a portable phone charger.
For the Drama Queen
You understand everyone needs to vent once and awhile, it’s usually never a problem because naturally we are compassionate and caring people. But this person is always in a crisis and nothing goes right in their life; A real Debbie downer. so when you see them alone in the break room on the verge of ventilation; you decide you’re starting your diet early, who needs to eat. Get them movie tickets and relate to the drama on paramount.
For the Hot Mess
12 Piece Complete Makeup Brush Set, $12
No one knows how to tell this person that their makeup is only suitable for Halloween or clown school. But you’ve made a great observation. Maybe she doesn’t have make up brushes.
For the Cat lady ( who brought it up in the first place)
Kong Figure Eight Track Cat Toy, $10.49
She’s the easiest one. Her plan was to get gifts for her pets all along. Go ahead and give her what she wants.
For the coffee addict
Travel Mug, $15.99
One on one meetings with no windows with the person who likes their coffee black and loves to wisper during the presentation, you smile through it but your nose hairs are singed. Well, this is a no brainer get them coffee and a personalized mug. But fill the mug up with peppermints. And then give them the whole bag of peppermints.
For the snob
Wine Pairing Towel Set, $28
They have the same title as you, they make the same amount, they have the same college background , but somehow they think they are better than you because they know how to pair wines and what fork to use at the company dinners. They keep their food away from everyone else’s food in the fridge and they hide their gourmet snacks. Get them these kitchen towels with how to pair wines listed on them. I bet they will actually read it and agree/disagree with the pairings.
For the young annoying Gen Z
Hydro Flask, $29
They don’t make sense when they talk. They dress like they’re still running late for 5th period. And the level of entitlement makes you want to cringe. What’s trending right now are those hydro flask bottles. Get them one of those, and be done.
For the life coach
Passion Planner, $35
Everytime you talk to this person, you’re reminded why you don’t talk to this person. They sound like a motivational speaker gone wrong. They always say “I’m here for you” or they ask “what’s wrong” and you say “nothing,” they respond, “no, I know you, something’s wrong.” Just going on and on about their opinion about your life and how they have all the answers to fix it. Get them a passion planner, so maybe they will get busy with their own timeline.
cover image via IHeartRadio
