By Isabella Capponi
Labels are becoming less and less important in dating as we grow older. Especially in the year 2026, it seems like labels matter less in dating these days, as more and more people are dating without ever officially defining the relationship. You can go on multiple dates, spend all your time together, and build emotional intimacy with someone without ever calling it a relationship. Grey areas are called grey for a reason, and this space between casual dating and commitment can sometimes be worse than being single.
Dating can feel like a relationship long before anyone calls it one.
What Are We, Exactly?
According to the official Merriam-Webster definition, a “situationship” is a modern term for “a loosely-defined sexual or romantic relationship between partners who are unclear about the exact nature of the relationship in terms of the other partner’s level of commitment and future expectations.” This has become a very popular term in recent dating culture. You hear it in the way people describe who they’re dating: “We’re talking,” “We’re seeing each other,” or “We’re keeping things casual.” These terms have replaced more traditional relationship labels. What sounds like an early stage of dating can describe the entire relationship nowadays. People are being pushed to think it’s normal and to accept it when the other person, frankly, just says nothing. People are spending months dating without even knowing where they stand.
After two dates, it makes sense to leave things open. You’re still figuring out whether you like each other enough to plan a third. Three months later, you might know their coffee order, have a standing Sunday plan, and still hesitate to invite them to a friend’s birthday because you have no idea how you’d introduce them. “This is the person I spend every weekend with” doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. At that point, it’s fair to wonder whether you’re still getting to know each other or just avoiding a conversation.
So why are we avoiding communication? That scary commitment conversation has become so terrifying to people that now we are just completely omitting it. It could be for a lot of reasons: discomfort with being vulnerable, fear of rejection, or fear of losing the freedom that comes with being single. The tactful art of keeping things undefined is a form of denial that can be easier for people than getting to the root of what they actually want in a relationship.
When Expectations Don’t Match
The trouble starts when there is miscommunication because the two people read the same relationship differently. One person may assume they’re building toward something serious while the other sees it as something temporary. The other person could be simply enjoying the benefits of a relationship (companionship, intimacy, emotional fulfillment) without necessarily accepting the responsibilities that come along with being in one. I’ve seen the emotional confusion this creates firsthand with a lot of my friends. One person is treating it like a full relationship and giving all of their energy and commitment, while the other simply takes it and enjoys it because, at the end of the day, they don’t want that responsibility, so they don’t give back.
One Swipe Away
There are more ways to find a partner nowadays than ever before. I met my current partner on a dating app, so I know a match can turn into something serious. On the other hand, dating apps can also be a way for people to keep their options open and avoid settling down. If there’s always something new available, it’s easy to assume that someone better is one swipe away.
The person you’re actually dating has had time to be a little annoying. You know they’re always late, or that they tell the same story at every dinner. The person in the next profile is still a few flattering photos and an answer to a prompt that made you laugh. It’s easy to imagine that person will be a better fit, because you haven’t spent enough time with them to know what might annoy you. Meanwhile, the person you’re already seeing is still waiting to find out if you’re free on Friday.
Modern dating apps have, at the end of the day, normalized casual dating because of the number of options people now have, making traditional commitment seem like a bigger decision, or even an unnecessary one.
So… Is This Actually a Bad Thing?
Not everyone wants a traditional relationship, and avoiding labels isn’t the actual problem. The question is whether both people actually want the arrangement they are in. The real issue is when the lack of communication causes two people to be misaligned in what they want and need, or one person is left guessing where they stand.
Two people can be happy seeing each other every week and still want to date other people. They can also agree to be exclusive before either feels ready to use the word “partner.” Both arrangements can work when everyone understands what the arrangement involves and agrees to it. And the conversation doesn’t have to start with “What are we?” if that feels too big. “Are you still seeing other people?” is a perfectly reasonable place to start. It might be an awkward moment, but so is finding out three months in that you were the only one who thought you were exclusive.
You can go on date after date and still wonder what to call it.
Sharing a routine doesn’t mean you want the same future.
When another match is a swipe away, it’s easy to keep looking.
A bouquet can be a sweet gesture. A conversation tells you where you stand.
Modern dating, for a number of reasons, has made defining a relationship more complicated than actually being in one. The truth might be that the problem isn’t the lack of labels but the lack of honest and open communication. Have we become so accustomed to this grey area of modern dating that we’ve forgotten that we are allowed to ask for what we actually want out of a relationship?
