PSA: The "Dating Scene" is Now Extinct. Queue in The "Dating Sh*t Show"
Is it just me or is dating nowadays as treacherous as river rafting? it’s a bunch of mixed signals, judgment, and miscommunication rushing at you; all while you try to avoid their sharp edges and stay afloat. As you navigate through the dating streams, you never really know anyone’s real intentions...do they want an authentic relationship or are they just looking to hook up? Even if lines are drawn and boundaries are in place, someone is left feeling underwhelmed. Just to throw more havoc into the equation, there is the question of sex. To do, or not to do...it? That is the question. Being new to the dating scene, I’ve been holding on for dear life as I try to make sense of what all of this is.
I'm as single as a Pringle. It’s been this way for maybe two months; after being in a six year relationship, my idea of what the dating world is like is a little outdated ( pun intended). So far from what I can gather, in 2019 you don’t have to get to know the person. You can swipe left or right based on physical attraction. I’m terrified of downloading any type of app right now. From what I hear, Tinder is just for hookups, Bumble, the girls have to show interest first (I'm traditional, I like to be chased). And there's a whole bunch of other apps that seem to be based on very superficial means of matching mates. Where's the app that's for recently single Millennials that may be interested in rebound dating but it could be more ( Too specific?)
Let's get a little risqué for a moment. Dating is closely tied to your perspective of intimacy. For the majority of the population, that means sex. I've never been the one to have casual sex. There's nothing casual about it. I'm not just brushing my teeth, or taking a dog on a walk. Sex is getting to an apex level of vulnerability and then allowing someone to make you orgasm. It takes me a while to feel that comfortable with someone. Dating shouldn't be all about sex, but that's the vibe I get in the land of single Pringles. I concluded that I am a different type of chip. I need a true connection with a person to even allow them to second base, let alone the level of my pants unzipping. Knowing I feel this way about sex, it has been really hard to read in between the lines of what these men want from me. Because it takes a lot more than the first date going well to have me “casually” doing anything with them.
My dating experience has been one of confusion. I very much want to have my Carrie Bradshaw moment of dating around, learn from each of them, then write about it. But maybe I am not a “dater” or the dating type of gal. My standards are too high. I come with expectations on how the other person should treat me, but I'm quickly learning I am setting myself up for failure. Although I feel like I'm trying to avoid the waterfall, I see myself speeding towards as I go through the rough rapids of romance. I am happy I am here, in this moment. Sink or swim, I am learning about myself and eventually I will know enough to cast my net and catch me a keeper.
cover image via Narcity
