Deal Break or Make: What happens when he doesn't pay on the first date?
Picture this. You meet a great guy. He offers to take you out for dinner so the two of you can really get to know each other—and yes, there are sparks! The big day finally arrives, and you are the image of perfection. Your face is glowing, not a hair is out of place, and you’re wearing that dress that hugs you in all the right places. It’s going to be a good night, you think to yourself as you step out your door. Everything seems to be going great until the check comes to the table and the two of you start eyeing it, and each other, awkwardly. Reluctantly, he reaches for the check and then sheepishly asks for you to pay half. *GASP* What do you do? The date was amazing! You were even imagining a second date! Can all of that come crumbling down with a simple question?
Ummmm yes! Why would somebody invite you on a date they can’t afford? Why would they take you to a place that’s out of their price range? With so many free and inexpensive date options, it seems silly to ask someone out, followed by taking said date somewhere out of his/her budget. Honestly, let’s just go to a happy hour and get drinks, if you don’t want to spend money! The first date is the date that sets the tone for the dynamic between the two of you. Most people aren’t asking for a $200 date to the most expensive restaurant in the city. But for crying out loud, if you’re going to ask someone out for the first time, take them out somewhere you can afford!
It also takes nothing to be honest in advance—again, setting the tone for the future! It would be so much more acceptable to hear the truth in advance than awkwardly staring at the check when the waiter brings it to the table. Learning in advance can also give you the option to go on the date or not—chances are if you’re really feeling the guy, you’ll be okay with it. Again, there are also a ton of free options! The first date with my ex involved a walk around the monuments in D.C. and some cheap Chinese food. Memorable, Cheap, Cute. I’ve also paid for dates with exes in the past. But I’m also a firm believer that whoever initiates the first date should pay for the first date.
So, are there any times it’s acceptable to split the bill on date number one? Maybe something was wrong with his card, or maybe he had a financial emergency. All the ill feelings and uneasy glances could be fixed with communication! He should be honest with whatever is going on with his life. It’ll make life, and dating, so much easier. If the date wasn’t noteworthy, drop it. Complete deal breaker. If the date was particularly spectacular, my answer is still to drop it. He should’ve spoke to you beforehand about splitting the bill—it takes nothing to be honest! That being said, let us never forget to always bring money just in case!
cover image via what’s your price