Excitement Has Never Looked So Boring: The Bachelor: Week 2 Recap
Wasting no time this episode: Colton kicks off week 2 footage holding a little camera faced on himself. TBH I kinda like the vlogging in bed, talking about the start of the day, go Colton, get your inner Youtube on...but cool it on the weird. He is most def n-o-t excited about this date, even if “I’m really excited” happened to be his choice of words to let escape out of his mouth. The game sounds like it could be fun, but more likely than not (and I’m sure to the delight of their mischievous do-no-gooder producers), it will all implode and go horribly wrong.
via The Muse
First group date of the season! Demi, Bri, Tracey, Elise, Hannah G., Nicole, Onyeka, Catherine. Demi, Catherine, AND Tracy? Who’s idea was that I wonder… *inserts thoughtful emoji*
Always fun to have comedians host the group date challenge. Love Nick Offerman. Not loving this game. It’s like homemade Mac n’ Cheese...if done well, it’s going to be totally enjoyable and a good time. If it tanks, it’s just a whole lot of cringe and full of regret.
via Cosmopolitan
Check out the audience as they kick off the challenge: my friends caught the same tall blonde seated in among the viewers as the same one shown from the enormous watch party shown on week 1! Can anyone else attest?
I felt physical twingy-pain at the following: Konyeka’s little “drownin in bitches” tale, Catherine’s clapback and mike toss, Tracy, and hooooo, Demi...Demi with the public face grab. Can’t say I’m into it. Her aggression is calculated and un-endearing and just beacoup. Bye.
Best timing ever for us to cut to Hannah B. with all her smiles and giggles and steal away the first one-on-one date card. On her birthday! (Personally my birthday is all about moi, too much can go wrong on birthday dates and spoil the day meant to celebrate moi, but u know what, to each their own.)
Meanwhile back on the group date, Demi continues on her antics, rendering Tracy into a borderline hyperventilation with her flaunty little pissing contest dance with the group date rose in hand.
Elyse is 100% h a p p e n i n g right now. All my girlfriends want her makeup artist’s number on speed dial, like yesterday. And COLTON’S COUGARS!!! Count me in on that team (actually Blake’s Cougars but that has a different ring to it.) Elyse admits to Colton that a certain segment of the house has become the wing where the older women have taken residence. Love. Love. Love. And yes Colton you definitely can learn a thing or two from an older women. Commence passionate makeout.
HANNAH stinkin’ G. We’re back with our favorite slice of cutie pie! (Is her spirit animal a bunny rabbit?) Noticing how Colton’s voice drops to a low croon when he talks to her. I’ma call him picking her right now. A multitude of past seasons have resulted in the main guy or gal ending up choosing the same contestant who received the First Impression Rose. He’s not grabbing anyone else by the waist to kiss them passionately against the balcony. All I’m saying.
This date with Hannah B., again the first one-on-one, is starting off well untilllll thissss toast? Gone is the beauty pageant confidence. Why are we suddenly getting shy and reserved Hannah B.? It’s a freaking toast HB, not your pro-world-peace speech for thousands of people watching. Oh wait….haven’t you done that already?
But glad to see that birthday girl got to stick around and capped the night with fireworks to boot, a croony “Happy birthday” wish from Colton, and a rose.
Camp Bachelor Jamboree. Definitely reminds me of church camp, only 1. The competition for boys was more subtle, 2. the shorts we wore were longer, and 3. Better gender ratio. Much better. This actually looks fun (hats off and well done, producers, but don’t get used to that from me) and viewers are glimpsed a rare moment of camaraderie and wholesome fun shared among the girls.
via The Inquisitr
Rose ceremony. Onyeka with the blow horn - issa thumbs down from me dawg...I like the NBA dancer, and it’s her turn for face time with C-Daddy. But then her clap back to Onyeka with banging the pan! And then again with the bigger pot!! Go girl for not taking no garbage from no THOT.
Five more go home tonight, mostly uneventful, as these five remained mostly nameless and without much glimpse into personalities. So far the goodbyes have been relatively painless, but not for long…
During our sneak peeks of future episodes, my girls and I capped the night by sharing extensive squealing, once again, at Colton’s fence jump. Where does he go??
What did you think of this week’s episode? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.
