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It's Official: Hollywood Has Become Obsessed With Shotgun Engagements

It's Official: Hollywood Has Become Obsessed With Shotgun Engagements

Alright folks, here’s the deal.  Just days ago, the 11-year-old still buried within me had a mini meltdown because her fave Jonas brother officially went off the market.  Yes.  It’s true. Nick Jonas, one of the men of my elementary school dreams, is now engaged to the gorgeous Indian actress, Priyanka Chopra.  And I know what you’re thinking: sis, you never really had a chance with him to begin with. And to that, I say mind your business! Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s get into the real tea.  Nick Jonas. Priyanka Chopra. Two. Freaking. Months. I mean seriously, is there something going around in these Hollywood circles? How the hell are couples getting engaged to be married in two months.  Do they know something I don’t? Is the apocalypse approaching a bit quicker than I thought?

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Nick and Priyanka also aren’t the only recent celebrities to rush into marriage.  Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson have done the same thing, as well as Bieber and Baldwin. What the hell is going on? Like seriously, is there something in the water?  Should I be a bit more cautious? Is it the retrogrades?! Can someone seriously know they want to be with someone for the rest of their lives after a month or two of dating? I do love a good romantic comedy and the whole idea of a whirlwind passion but marriage, guys? MARRIAGE. Marriage is something that, ideally, should last a lifetime. Can you really know if you want to be with someone forever after only a few weeks?  And, honestly, how are you to know if it’s love, lust, or infatuation that you’re experiencing?  Marriage is intense.  It’s more than just a cutesy love story and a pretty ring.  It can be hard and gritty and downright ugly sometimes.  If you’ve never dealt with some ugly things with your partner, how can you be ready to settle down with them?

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Okay, maybe I’m just a cynic and less of a hopeless romantic than I thought.  But come on! You’re telling me in such a short period of time, you’re ready to walk down the aisle and bring the wedding bells out? I know I can’t possibly be the only one who thinks that’s crazy!  Now, this is no shade to Ariana and Pete, Justin and Hailey, or Nick and Priyanka—I wish them all loving, long-lasting, and fruitful relationships. But can only a few months of dating lead to a healthy marriage?  I was always taught that the person you marry should see you in all facets—the good, the bad, and the ugly—and to be perfectly honest, the good lasts fairly long in the early stages of a relationship. How are you to know this person is “the one” if you haven’t even made it out of the honeymoon stage?

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While it’s obvious that we don’t know the dynamics of these celebrity relationships, they will never cease to me confuse me! It’s as if everything in Hollywood is on fast forward and the rest of us are left watching their stories unfold, dazed and confused.  Ya know, sometimes quick loves really turn into beautiful marriages, but let’s be real: what are the chances of that (especially with celebrity relationships which can sometimes seem to operate in entirely different manner)? Will this recent trend of quick engagements continue to develop?  Will these marriages last?  Let’s be real, will these engagements even last?  Only time will tell, but one thing’s for sure, I’ll definitely be staying updated.  After all I have to see if somebody can prove me wrong.

 

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