One Divorce, One Bad Box of Hair Dye, and a Baby: Married at First Sight Reunion Recap
It’s been three months since the Married At First Sight couples have been left to their own devices. All three couples decided to stay married at the end of the season, causing many of us to place our bets on which relationships will implode. With no experts or producers to watch her, did Mia run off with Tristan’s credit cards? Did Amber divorce Dave for breathing in the vicinity of a brunette? Will crazy-in-love Bobby be wearing Danielle's face as a mask? While our lust for drama will surely be satisfied with these updates, there is also an announcement that will soften even the most jaded reality tv viewer.
Amber and Dave meet with the counselors and agree that the last three months were trying. Amber reveals that she moved out following an argument, but quickly tried to reconcile and move back in. Dave resisted, citing trust as an issue if he can’t count on his wife to endure marital hardships. When asked if they are still married, Dave hesitates, and Amber looks to Dave as if she also doesn't know. Dave says “yes” ! Then, “uh, I mean, legally.” Ouch.
Amber goes on to say that she would like to repair their marriage and that she will always have love for Dave. She acknowledges how her insecurities led her to reject Dave’s true feelings and affections. Dave says that he doesn't think the marriage will work, but he will always have a place in his heart for Amber, as they shared a “crazy and unique and weird” experience. Have mercy, Dave. She did go brunette, so we know she tried.
Mia hasn't changed for Tristan, and he didn’t for her. Mia tells the experts about their big fight, which started when Tristan showed her a picture of his bikini-clad ex and began drooling over it. When Mia expressed her displeasure, Tristan’s mom called her to explain that lots of women chase him, so Mia should be confident enough to handle such situations. Side note: Tristan has his mother’s name saved on his phone as “woman”, which for some inexplicable reason negates any of her advice, amiright?
Tristan arrives to the update, and agrees that the last few months have been messy. When asked if they're still married, he tells the panel that they’ve decided to divorce. The only thing they disagree on is who initiated the divorce. Mia says she did after an argument, but soon after agreed to go to counseling. Never to be trumped in pettiness, Tristan then asked for a divorced on the way to counseling. So, Tristan wins on a technicality, but really they both won; they never have to see each other again.
As I falsely predicted after the finale, Bobby never got Danielle's name tattooed on his face. In fact, only one thing has changed since decision day. Danielle answers the experts first, stating that she and Bobby have yet to have a fight (so what do they do all day? Every married couple ever needs to know). Bobby joins the discussion and adds that he “...will never take [Danielle] for granted”. After an unnecessarily dramatic pause backed by suspenseful background music, Bobby announces that they are still married and in love.
And what do married and in love people do all day? Why stop using protection of course! Danielle is currently pregnant with their first child! As far as Dave’s preference for a stay-at-home-mom, he of course already offered to bend to Danielle's wish to continue her career as a software sales executive. The ultra quick and seamless bond I initially deemed creepy may in fact be true love. Who knew?
In the end, there’s one couple building a future together and two others building walls. Though watching their marriages begin and deteriorate on cable may seem regrettable, at best they have the opportunity to study themselves and start anew. Better yet, they can hope for a juicy spinoff. Either way, all of our brave cast members, both coupled and uncoupled, will always be bound by this crazy and unique and weird experience.