The Win And Fail Looks of the 2018 Grammys

With the 2018 Grammys, anything goes. Sure, it’s all about the music, but the red carpet is where some of the biggest statements of the night are made. In honor of the #MeToo movement, ladies nominated for the night wore white roses as a symbol of peace, love, and resilience — some opted to wear black as a callback to the Golden Globes. As certain celebs managed to capture the essence of elegance and grace this year, others… fell a little short. Here, we’re counting down the best (and worst) looks of the night.

The Best Looks...

#12 Lady Gaga in Armani Privé

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Long-gone are the days of meat dresses and arriving to the ceremony in a golden egg (in case you missed that one). Here, Gaga is dressed as if she’s going back to her “Bad Romance” roots, and I’m absolutely here for it. She’s naturally traversing the line between classy and sexy, and the endless amount of lace in this piece gives off some honest-to-goodness Stevie Nicks realness.

#11 Camila Cabello in Judith Leiber

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Okay, I’ll bite: I dig this, even in all its simplicity. Camila Cabello looks like the human personification of the red-dress emoji in the absolute best way possible. Let’s be clear here, guys — the Grammys red carpet, at its heart, is all about stylistically upstaging the person to your left and right. Sure, it’s “all about the music,” but Camila is keeping it timeless, and I can respect that.

#10 Reba McEntire in Jovani 

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MISS REBA! What can’t she do? First Colonel Sanders, and now this. This really looks like everybody I know’s prom dress circa 2015 and I think Reba might have killed it more than any of them did. It’s understated, it’s flattering, it’s everything. Invite her to every award show.

#9 Kesha 

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I really want to clown on this outfit, but I just can’t, she looks so rad. It’s Rhinestone Cowboy chic, and I’m veritably obsessed with it. Plus, her hair and makeup look so perfect yet so natural. One day I’ll hopefully be able to beautifully pull off a middle-part with waves like that instead of somehow looking like Eddie Vedder.

#8 Cyndi Lauper

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Okay, okay, OKAY. Just let me make my case for this one, alright? Maybe it’s the art history nerd inside me, maybe it’s the fact I can never truly hate a power-pantsuit. But Cyndi Lauper is like... everybody’s crazy yet lovable aunt, you know? Aunt Cyndi, who probably sells her own handmade earrings on Etsy and is obsessed, with, like, collecting glass bottles or something. I can understand why some may feel personally victimized by this outfit, but I think it’s just the exact right amount of weird that teeters on totally admirable. I could write a whole dissertation on this.

#7 Rihanna in Alexandre Vauthier

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This entire thread could just be a collection of Rihanna’s best looks, but I’ll hold myself back. Rihanna opted to skip the red carpet, but made her appearance on stage in a custom Alexandre Vauthier brown leather trench-coat and I have a lot of feelings about it. This was really a dice-roll of an outfit; you could very easily find yourself in Carmen Sandiego territory with look. But Rihanna is Rihanna — she could make a a paper take-out bag a form of hot couture.

#6 Lisa Loeb

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I missed Lisa Loeb. If Cyndi is your crazy aunt who collects assortments of glass bottles, Lisa is your slightly-more-normal aunt who loves NPR and eclectic sweater sets. She looks absolutely stunning here in this metallic number, and I really feel like she’s having her absolute Princess Diaries moment, her joy is infectious! Man, now I’ve got to go listen to “Stay.”

#5 Hailee Steinfeld 

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This look just screams Miami to me, and I’ve got to say: I actually kind of love it. The Xenon boots? Yes. Paired with the aquamarine eyeshadow? Double yes. If I could get away with this as an everyday look, I’d wear it everywhere. Work, class, in line at the bank, you name it. This outfit really embodies the whole mood of “me casually lounging in my mansion in the late 1980’s Palisades, pretending to be shocked at the murder of my much-older husband.” And frankly, I’m more than okay with that.

#4 Lana Del Ray in Gucci

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Did somebody send a mass email out to the women of Hollywood, like, “Hey, FYI, make sure to dress like an ancient Grecian earth goddess?” Because that’s my main takeaway from the night. This is a subtle homage to old-Hollywood, Hedy Lamarr, so on and so forth, and only Lana would be able to make it look this good and not too kitschy. Side note: I do really love the whole white-rose-as-a-corsage thing. It’s like she’s going to the coolest Homecoming dance ever put on.

#3 Anna Kendrick in Balmain

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The minute I saw this look I clutched my pearls. Anna Kendrick is not here to play games in this outfit, y’all: the corset! The amaranth-pink heels! The PLAID-ON-PLAID! When has plaid-on-plaid ever looked this good? Literally NEVER. It’s never looked this good. She’s able to pull off Working Girl-meets-Madonna so effortlessly here that I genuinely want to steal this Balmain number for myself. If this doesn’t become one of the most iconic looks of the night, I can (and will!) riot.

#2 SZA in Atelier Versace

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SZA or Diana Ross? (The answer may surprise you). No, but seriously — SZA looks so absolutely ethereal in this Atelier Versace dress that I’m honestly having trouble not believing she’s secretly some sort of mythical ice princess. The minimalist, glowy makeup adds loads to the gracefulness of this outfit, too. Honestly, this is truly SZA’s world, and we’re just living in it.

#1 Cardi B in an Ashi Studio gown, Messika jewelry, and Louboutin heels

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This was really a toss-up between SZA and Cardi for best dressed, but I have to hand it to Cardi. If they ever remake the film Elizabeth, I would like to personally start campaigning for Cardi B to play the Queen. It’s what we need as a society. It’s her first year at the Grammys and she’s already upstaged everyone in this ornately elegant Ashi Studio gown (that would’ve probably looked clunky and off-putting on virtually anybody else). This is her time. We do not deserve you Cardi.

The Worst Looks...

#12 Kimberly Schlapman

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I was really at a tug-of-war with myself trying to figure out whether to place this either in the best or worst looks of the night, but it’s gotta be the latter. I think we had a very similar dress in my high school’s production of Showboat. I will give Schlapman props for trying, though — there’s only one person that I think could pull this dress off seamlessly and not look like a tour guide at the Grand Ole Opry, and that’s the queen herself: Dolly Parton.

#11 Chrissy Teigan

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I can’t believe that, here, now, in 2018, I have to relegate Chrissy Teigen into the worst of the night. I’m not heartless: pregnant fashion is hard to come by, and that’s not fair to anybody — stylistic sacrifices have to be made. But everytime I look at this outfit, I feel like I’m on a cruise to the Bahamas, stuck in a sweaty dinner-theater about to watch a forgotten American Idol winner lip-sync on stage. Chrissy deserves better than this look.

#10 Katie Holmes in Zac Posen 

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It’s not that I hate this look, it’s just that I weirdly find it… kind of boring? (I’m doing my best not to side-eye that lack of a white rose, too). If you are so fortunate as to be invited to the Grammys, you’re either decked out in the most insane outfit possible or you play it... joyfully conservative. Holmes is the latter, here. If she paired this dress with some kind of bright eyeshadow or even a glossy lid, then she could definitely join Hailee Steinfeld in the ranks of pseudo-space princesses.

#9 PINK

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Listen, I’m all here for a feather-oriented number (a la the ever-so-iconic Björk swan dress of 2001 that I’m delighted to find out has its own Wikipedia page). However, this look- and color scheme!- would have only been radical, say, pre-2005, maybe. Oversized belts and neon is a trend that I’m grateful has passed on. Pink’s daughter, Willow (her date for the night), however, is serving up some monochromatic street style that I can 100% get behind.

#8 Marren Morris in Julien MacDonald

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I’m not too up-in-arms about this piece, but it does leave an unsettling taste in my mouth. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a beautiful color on Morris (not many people can pull off an all-silver look, so props to her!) but the Art Deco cutouts makes me feel as if this was an abandoned costume from The Great Gatsby. No thanks.

#7 Kelly Clarkson

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I really wanted to avoid adding KC into this list, because she really can do no wrong— but maybe I’m the only person who doesn’t care for this outfit, I don’t know. Kelly Clarkson usually slays, but this is very community-theatre-Shakespeare-play. Or maybe Renaissance festival, I can’t really be sure.

#6 Heidi Klum 

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Where Gaga and Anna Kendrick got vintage lace and corsets right, Heidi has fallen short; it’s less high fashion and more blissfully tragic, like a prom dress from 1988. Are bustiers coming back? Is that a thing? I think it might be a thing. I really feel like I could slow dance to “Time After Time” in this look. Her hair and makeup look phenomenal, as always — but there’s way too much going on in this dress for me to handle.

#5 Giuliana Rancic

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This dress probably has good intentions, but looking at it really stresses me out. Giuliana Rancic is trying to be edgy in this gown, sure — but I can’t help put picture a completely normal dress at first, and then a thread coming loose and getting pulled rapidly by accident, and now she has to pretend it’s high fashion to save face.

#4 Rachel Antonoff

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Truth be told, I have no idea who Rachel Antonoff is, but when you Google her, it says she presents her clothing in “creative ways,” including but not limited to: a dollhouse, a murder mystery, and a sock hop. You could honestly tell me she’s presenting this outfit in any of those ways and I’d probably believe you.

#3 Ava Max

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You know how earlier I said that I love all pantsuits? Yeah, I lied. If she isn’t the opening act to that dinner-theater performance via Chrissy Teigen, then I’m not sure who she is. Honestly, I just realized while writing this that the pineapples might be metallic pink and that just made this entire outfit, so, so much worse.

#2 Jenny McCarthy 

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I literally had to search this image multiple times to make sure this was Jenny McCarthy and that I wasn’t hallucinating. The sheer gloves themselves are sending me into a very vivid flashback to my middle-school emo phase. Maybe without the Andrew Dice Clay-esque aviators, I’d be fine with this, but instead I’m getting real B-rated Batman villain vibes from this outfit.

#1 Kali Uchis

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Kali, my love, who did this to you? I am truly at a loss for words. It’s, like, Selena-meets-Spy Kids-meets-when-you-see-squares-of-fields-from-an-airplane-window. Somebody really did her dirty, here. I can commend the high pony… but not much else. I’m not even sure if I can dignify this look with a joke, y’all. Is this what heartbreak is? 

 

 

 

 

 

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