Toxic Report: 5 Top Signs Your Relationship Won't Last
By Julia Peterson
It’s not complicated in today’s age for a love story to turn ugly fast. Is it better to love than to not love at all?
I have been hopeful that as time goes on, perhaps the tanginess of relationships will become much more straightforward. By chance, you can find your match, but it’s not what you would expect. Here’s how to determine if your relationship is toxic.
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Future Plans for One and Not for Two
One thing about cowards is that they are not smart enough or brave enough to admit to themselves that they should be alone. Let me ask you a question. Have you been dating a guy who casually throws in when he's going on a trip? I’m not talking about going on a business trip—if he is making future events without you while you're in an established relationship…danger alert. From gathering data in the field, I can tell you that despite what he is saying, he’s mentally deciding that whatever length of time you shared has an end date. It is dressed as a planned trip, but there’s no trip, just no you. Any plans made for one that appears random, you need to stay alert!
Trust Being Conditional Is a Sketchy Sign
There’s no escaping the undeniable truth that trust is indeed everything. I don’t care how often you hear it because no one listens. Enough with the surface-level conversation. It is essential to have honest discussions early in the relationship. It would help to establish realistic expectations about each other, not what you dreamed up. From hearing about my friend’s experience and mine, there’s this conditional trust that some men have decided to enact. You need to trust them, but they won’t trust you to cross the road. That’s very alarming, and if you already experienced that or are going through it, the relationship is coming to a close.
Money is A Huge Factor in A lot of Relationship Conflict
Financial abuse in relationships is more than common; in fact, it is a global problem that impacts women, especially women of color. It can get messy within a relationship if there is an imbalance in financial ownership. Being financially dependent on someone who you are in an active relationship with is beyond messy; it is stupid. It makes your sense of well-being contingent on how they feel about you. There are too many stories of love running out, and suddenly, you are homeless with no funds whatsoever. It ties in with trust, but what can’t be trusted in this life is money. The most remarkable advice I can give anyone who relies on the partner financially is to have savings just in case. A housewife I know has an agreed arrangement with her partner to get money into her account for her work inside the home. If your partner controls all the money and hesitates to have you work...danger alert!
If Their Friends and Family Don’t Like You…Run
The people who are close to us matter regarding matters of the heart. That means the people around us heavily influence our relationships. If your friends or family do not accept your partner, there is no doubt that the relationship has an end date. No matter what it said, their opinions on your partner matter greatly, and their actively showing disapproval is significant. If his close friends are comfortable enough to disrespect you or be offensive, trust the signs. Close friends know what you feel about your relationship, so it’s an indicator that something is not right at all. I’ve been in this situation before, and there’s nothing funny about disrespect; if they feel comfortable doing it, that’s because they were given permission. I see too many women brushing off their boyfriend's jokes or actions about them that they feel uncomfortable about. See the signs and depart like a ghost.
Intimacy and Vulnerability Are the Ties That Bind Relationships
To end with intimacy and vulnerability feels right to me. Yes, in a good working relationship, intimacy is essential, and I’m not even speaking of sexual intimacy. Lack of intimacy will be something that catches your attention right away that something is wrong. From just simple kisses, hugs, and hand-holding to remembering favorite songs or movies, these are the little things that have a significant impact during the span of a working partnership. Not being able to be vulnerable in your relationship is shameful since that should be one of the people close to us that we should feel safest to be vulnerable with. It is hard to truly connect with another whose walls are built up, leaving you lonely on the other side. Simply leave and find another person more open to sharing their heart with you.