From ‘Mazel Tov!’ to Modern Twists: Jewish Wedding Traditions That Will Make Your Big Day'
Planning a Jewish wedding? Want to make sure your big day is packed with meaning but also that it’s relevant to you as a couple? Here are some of the most beautiful, meaningful wedding traditions, but with a fresh twist that will make them more relevant to the modern bride and groom.
The Chuppah: Not Just a Fancy Canopy
Some people think the chuppah is nothing more than some cloth held up by poles, but it is much more than that. It is a symbol of the home you will build together as a couple. So, embrace it and make it your own. Instead of using plain white cloth, why not use a family heirloom tallit or embroider meaningful quotes upon it? If you’re feeling fancy, you could even hire someone to embroider it with images of your life, from the first flowers you were given to the aces you’ve visited together. The sky is the limit!
The Ketubah: Legal Document or Insta-Worthy Art Piece?
The ketubah is a Jewish marriage contract that dates back centuries, outlining the groom’s responsibilities to the bride. Today, most couples treat this document as more than just legalese—it’s a piece of art they’ll hang on their wall forever. We’re talking serious ketubah art here. You can find ketubahs in a variety of styles: modern geometric patterns, watercolor landscapes, funky calligraphy, or sleek minimalist lines. Some couples commission custom ketubahs with inside jokes, personal vows woven into the text, or even star maps marking the night they first met.
When you’re shopping around for a ketubah, don’t just nod and pick the first scroll you see. Think about what styles speak to you. Want something that matches your living room décor? Go for it. Think about whether you want traditional Aramaic text, a modern English translation, or a combination. Your ketubah should tell your love story—and it should be something you’re proud to display long after the last piece of cake has been devoured. Plus, this is something future generations might treasure, so no pressure or anything.
The Badeken: Because Who Doesn’t Love a Dramatic Reveal?
The badeken is the veiling ceremony, where the groom places the veil over the bride’s face to ensure he’s marrying the right person (thanks, Jacob and Leah, for that legendary mix-up cautionary tale). It’s got drama, tenderness, and a touch of humor if you let it. Instead of treating this moment like a solemn chore, embrace it.
Play a meaningful song in the background—maybe something that’s “yours,” not just the wedding march. Have your officiant or a close friend tell a quick, sweet anecdote about why this moment matters. Some couples even write mini love notes to exchange right before the veil comes down. Add flowers, a favorite family jewel, or a decorative headpiece that reflects the bride’s personality. Make the badeken about recognition, comfort, and excitement. It should feel like the grand reveal in a show you’ve both been starring in for years.
The Breaking of the Glass: Mazel Tov with a Twist
We all know the drill. The groom stomps on a glass, everyone yells “Mazel Tov!” and boom, you’re married. The broken glass represents the fragility of life, the temple’s destruction, and a reminder that joy and sorrow are always mixed. But who says you have to stop at a tiny wine glass? Some couples opt for unique breakable objects—colorful glass pieces that can later be turned into jewelry or art. Yes, you read that right. You can take the shards and have them transformed into a pendant or a mezuzah case. Talk about turning a fleeting moment into a lifelong keepsake. Just be sure it’s thin glass, okay? No one wants a twisted ankle mid-ceremony.
Make the moment even more personal. Have a favorite uncle tell a quick quip right before the stomp, or time your music so that when the glass breaks, the band strikes up a tune that makes everyone want to dance. This is a highlight moment; lean into the drama.
Dancing the Hora: Think Beyond the Traditional Circle
The Hora is a staple of Jewish weddings. It’s that circle dance where everyone pretends they’ve got rhythm and tries not to elbow each other in the face. The newlyweds get hoisted into the air on chairs like royalty, and guests do their best to keep them up there—no pressure. But you can give the Hora a personal spin.
Add some modern tunes into the mix—who says it has to be only “Hava Nagila”? Throw in that ‘80s pop hit or that Broadway show tune you both love. If you’re blending cultures, mix in a dance or a song from another tradition too. The goal is to get everyone moving, laughing, and, if possible, not dislocating any shoulders. Set the tone with a hilarious MC who can hype up the crowd, or distribute silly props (think party hats or light-up wands) to ramp up the fun. The Hora is a celebration of community—make it feel like the best block party ever.
The Yichud Room: A Private Moment in the Midst of Mayhem
After the ceremony, tradition says the couple should spend a few private minutes alone in the Yichud room, to reflect on the journey and the commitment they’ve just made. This is an oasis of calm in a day that can feel like a three-ring circus, and these days you can personalize it by having your favorite snacks, or playlist of your best couple songs, in the room with you.
Personalizing the Mitzvah of Tzedakah: Giving Back
A lesser-discussed tradition is incorporating tzedakah (charitable giving) into your wedding. This is a really nice tradition that you can actually incorporate into the day's festivities itself by announcing it during the reception. Something like: “In honor of all of you celebrating with us, we’re supporting a clean water project.” Or “We’ve donated X amount to a food bank.” It’s a powerful reminder that your union isn’t just about you two, it’s about building something better for the world!