Bachelor in Paradise: Hot Commodities and Liars (Week 2 Recap)

Week 2 was an eye opening one for sure! We learned that Nicole absolutely loves attention, Hannah is a snake in disguise, and that Shakespeare and millennials just don’t mix well.

Dylan and Hannah’s romance continues, but now that Blake has casted his spell on her, she’s drifting away from Dylan. The sad part is that to us, it’s clear as day she is all for Blake, but Dylan just doesn’t see it….yet. We have to painfully watch Dylan kiss Hannah, and Hannah just staring out wishing it was Blake kissing her instead.

It gets worse, though. We later hear a little confession from Hannah. She shared that a week before BIP, Blake had flown out to Alabama to see her. She said that during his trip, they talked, kissed, and he left. But, we all know they definitely did much more than just “kiss”. I mean, remember her during Colton’s season and their shower scenes together. Exactly…..!

Hannah, do us a favor, please stop leading sweet and innocent Dylan on, and go be a snake with Blake once and for all. Girl, bye.

Then, we have the self proclaimed “hot commodity” of BIP, Nicole. She went from not even getting a one on one date during Colton’s season, to now every guy that comes to BIP, asking her out. And, she is loving it beyond belief! Week 1, we saw her form a great connection with Clay. But, this week we saw Jordan take her out on a date, but she got back from the date and ran right back to Clay. Then Christian came in, took her out, and she did not run back to Clay. During her date with Christian, she was beaming with all the attention this guy was giving her. And she made it known to him, that he was not the only guy sweatin’ her in paradise.

Anyway after heavy kissing (and petting), they come back, and you can tell Nicole is like, “Clay who”. She got a taste of walking sex, and then went back to the sweet teddy bear. We get it, hard to go back.

Anyway, when Christian takes her away for a surprise before the rose ceremony, Clay decides to be more assertive, and go get his woman. Christian is firm in that he wasn’t letting her go. Clay walks away, and returns to his boy squad. Jordan being the self proclaimed, “mayor of paradise” is not okay with Christian denying Clay time with Nicole, so he goes over to Christian, punches a piñata we suppose was Nicole’s surprise, and then they start fighting on the beach. Here’s the shitty part, while all of this fighting between Christian and Clay was going on, Nicole said absolutely nothing. She didn’t even try. Homegirl, was LOVING it. Of course, the episode ended there. We shall see what the outcome of this ridiculous love triangle (or square now that Jordan decided to get involved) is next week. We’re sure Nicole will just continue watching them fight, most likely with popcorn in hand. Nicole, we’re kinda over you….

As for those that are coupled up, and we’re feelin’….we have:

Tayshia & John Paul Jones

Demi & Derek

Katie & Chris

Couples we are NOT feeling:

Caelynn & Dean (Caelynn doesn’t know WTF she wants. Dean is a nomad living in a van, and when he tells her, the former beauty pageant girl, says “oh, I love to travel”. Shut up Caelynn….his traveling is washing clothes in rivers, and going to the bathroom by a tree. Stop lying just so you get a rose.)

Hannah & Blake, please get off our TVs. Major eyeroll.

TBH, I’m not excited about this season’s cast so far. I love Demi, and Jordan’s commentary, but I just don’t see “great and true love” brewing amongst this cast. We’ll see who else comes into paradise, but at this point I think it’d be a little late in the game to fall in love, and propose at the end.



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