Deal Break or Make: Should you continue dating a guy who lives with his mom?
Millennials know all too well the struggle of adulthood. The economy is in shambles. It’s damn near impossible to live on your own. Rent is excruciatingly high. Somehow, though, it’s what’s expected by us as soon as we graduate from college. We all know the truth: living on your own can be tough, especially in areas where the cost of living is ridiculous. So why is the thought of a potential mate living at home with his parents still such a deal breaker? Better yet, is it even still a deal breaker in these times?
The not-so-simple answer is, well, it depends. If they’re living at home and their mom is doing their laundry, cooking their dinner, and still calling in their appointments, run! They probably are going to expect the exact same from you. Maybe you like to cook. Maybe cleaning is your “thing.” But let’s face it, do you really want a significant other that can’t do basic survival activities? We want to date adults here, not children! If they’re living at home, not to save money, not to take care of aging parents, but to loaf off supportive parents, that’s not the person you need in your life! It’s a serious deal break. Really dude, grow up! They also may be way too attached to their parents, which is okay in some cases. What you don’t want, for example, is a momma’s boy who’s so attached to his mom he can’t form healthy relationships with other women. Say no to the Oedipus complex, honey!
You also have people that are at home with a game plan. They could just be trying to save money after racking up student loans. They know how to cook and clean. They do their own laundry. They’re an active participant in their household. They’re helping with expenses at home. These are the people you can still form a relationship with. They’re not suffering from a lack of ambition and aren’t so far up their parent’s behinds they can’t function like a normal human being. You might also have a scenario that involves them caring for an aging or ailing parent. For obvious reasons, that isn’t a deal break. It’s totally endearing and affectionately sweet! No break necessary!
So be wary, guys. Is your boo a lazy good-for-nothing (was that too harsh?) that wants you to clean him up? Or, are they determined and driven, only staying home to either save money or save his fam? The caveat here is that nobody is going to outwardly say “yeah, I’m a doof that doesn’t do anything.” They’ll probably phrase it differently. They may even dress themselves up as the second category. It will ultimately be up to you to pick up on the signals and spot the red flags. In the words of T-Boz, Left Eye, and Chilli, let us never forget: we don’t want no scrubs! As TLC so eloquently put, “a scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me.” So, be mindful if you’re dating a scrub or not. We can’t let our TLC sisters down like that!
Cover image via Fashionbeans