Almond Milk Yogurt, Where Have You Been All My Life?
OK, time for a dose of cold, hard truth serum. The milk of other animals is NOT good for us humans.
Sure, drinking cow or goat milk is fine if you’re a calf, (baby goat)…or any other child drinking your mother’s milk for that matter. It’s only natural. But it’s time we come to the realization that we’re the ONLY species on the planet that continues to drink milk past our infancy… and it’s the milk of other creatures. Pretty creepy when you stop to think about it, right?
Every time you put those gorgeous lips of yours to a glass of milk (the only way I’m drinking a glass of milk is if it’s accompanied by a generous slice of double chocolate cake) or a plate of obnoxiously portioned cheese fries (does that even count as cheese?!) you have absolutely no intention of sharing, you’re consuming something only made possible by pumping animals outside of our species full of chemicals and hormones. We’re vultures in this way—sexy birds who ALWAYS gets what they want, but predators nonetheless. We feast off their bodily fluids for calcium and vitamins, and it doesn’t feel good. Sure, the health problems it causes are minor. You can live with them—but you’ll be much happier without them.
Still not convinced? Gather ‘round boss ladies, ‘cause it’s story time!
It all starts with a girl (ahem, me) who has a rather unnatural infatuation with dairy foods. Milk, yogurt, cheese, and—cue the heavenly trumpets—ice cream. This girl could eat these foods day and night… and this girl had stomach problems. She could clear any room in seconds and felt like all of the world’s garbage somehow made its way into her body. Nice, right? And it gets worse. Soon, the toxins she felt in her gut started appearing on her face. Forget crack—acne kills. Oh, she knew who the culprit was for all of it: her diet. Or more accurately, her heavy dairy-based diet.
But she’s getting tired of talking about herself in the third person. I’ll stop now.
In all seriousness, I made the decision to limit my dairy intake, and I’m never going back. My journey started with soy. Delicious… but also the devil. As your trusted friends here at Exhibit A have already warned, soy can have negative impacts on women’s reproductive processes (the hormones, people!). Disheartened by the news, I quit cold turkey and looked for another alternative to dairy, and after a grueling (ok, not really) search, stumbled upon THE ALMOND. Soon, I was buying every almond-based product I could get my eager little hands on (almond milk, almond ice cream), and it was glorious.
And then, I tried almond milk yogurt—the missing jewel in my dairy-free crown (until almond milk cheese becomes a real thing)— for the first time. Babes, it is so good, I die. If it is wrong to be in love with a type of food, I don’t want to be right. Happening soon in a store near you (but hopefully it is there already), dairy-free yogurt is taking over. And not just almond milk yogurt, for those of you who are either allergic, or (gasp!) don’t like the taste of almonds. If you happen to fall into either one of these unenviable categories, plant-based or coconut milk yogurts are most def the way to go.
Still with me? If so, let me be the first to congratulate you on making the first step on a journey that will have you feeling (and looking) lighter and better than ever. Send dairy—along with its acne-inducing, bloat-causing, inflammatory properties packing. Meanwhile, I could keep wondering where this edible miracle has been all my life OR I could just be thankful I made the change and am able to share it with you—all of my nearest and dearest (come on, I shared my gut issues with you! That makes us practically family.).
In the end, there was only one choice. It was either get on board the dairy-free train…or get run over.